Soaking "Jack" in a diluted bleach solution for Halloween

Happy Halloween 2009.

Some helpful explanation of the soaking in bleach:

http://www.myscienceproject.org/pumpkin.html

Hemispheric weather prediction factors, 2009

I am entranced by complex systems and disaster prediction.

As such, I am attracted to meterology and the ridiculously unpredictable behavior of emergent weather systems. Having said that, I was surprised that the NOAA Climate Prediction Center can now apparently distill several causal factors for weather in the Northern Hemisphere. Apparently.

Here they are:


THE MAIN FACTORS WHICH USUALLY INFLUENCE THE SEASONAL CLIMATE OUTLOOK INCLUDE:

1) EL NINO AND LA NINA - WHICH COMPRISE EL NINO/SOUTHERN OSCILLATION OR ENSO.

2) TRENDS - APPROXIMATED BY THE OCN TOOL AS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE MOST RECENT 10-YEAR MEAN OF TEMPERATURE OR 15-YEAR MEAN OF PRECIPITATION FOR A GIVEN LOCATION AND TIME OF YEAR AND THE 30-YEAR CLIMATOLOGY PERIOD (CURRENTLY 1971-2000).

3) THE TROPICAL 30-60 DAY OSCILLATION - SOMETIMES CALLED MADDEN JULIAN OSCILLATION (MJO) - AFFECTS CLIMATE VARIABILITY WITHIN SEASONS.

4) THE NORTH ATLANTIC OSCILLATION (NAO) AND THE PACIFIC NORTH AMERICAN (PNA) PATTERNS - WHICH AFFECT THE TEMPERATURE ANOMALY PATTERN ESPECIALLY DURING THE COLD SEASONS. THESE PHENOMENA ARE CURRENTLY KNOWN TO BE PREDICTABLE ONLY OVER A
WEEK OR SO.

5) THE PACIFIC DECADAL OSCILLATION (PDO) - AN ENSO-LIKE PATTERN OF CLIMATE VARIABILITY AFFECTING BOTH THE TROPICS AND THE NORTH PACIFIC AND NORTH AMERICAN REGIONS, BUT WHICH VARIES ON A MUCH LONGER TIME-SCALE THAN ENSO.

6) PERSISTENTLY DRY OR WET SOILS IN THE SUMMER AND SNOW AND ICE COVER ANOMALIES IN THE WINTER. THESE FACTORS TEND TO PERSIST FOR LONG PERIODS AND ACT AS A KIND OF MEMORY IN THE CLIMATE SYSTEM.

Who says heavy metal music has trite lyrics?

9. What I've Become

Blank stares from broken men
So withered from the poisons they can't remember when
There were once honest reasons.
It's all a lie, it died 100,000 miles ago.
Pretending I'm still here.
Justify what I've become, sanctify what I've become.
Amazing disgrace... (how) sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.
Better lost if this is found, best blinded never to see.
The race to save face, nothing now is what we meant it to be.

Pretending I'm still here.

It's a system now, intertwined.
Take your place in the line to be ground by the gears of the masterpiece.

Betrayal.

Suffered consequence
It's been so long since any piece of this made any kind of sense.
You anoint the king, I'll burn everything down to ashes.
You giveth, I taketh away.
It's a system now, intertwined.
Take your place in the line to be ground by the gears of the masterpiece.

Betrayal.

--

And what it sounds like as music:

Skateboarding with a serial killer...

Remembering Miguel "Mike" Venegas this evening, who was the most daring skateboarder I ever hung with as a teenager...

=============================

Triple-ax murder case of 1991

Rubio's activities regarding a triple-axe murder case early in 1991 have continued to be questioned though the matter did not affect his reelection prospects. James D. "Jim" Smiley (1958-1991), a Missouri native, Laredo businessman, and a Baptist deacon, Ruben Martinez, then twenty-one, and Daniel Duenez Capetillo, then fourteen, were murdered in Smiley's home by two teenagers wielding an axe. The killers were Miguel Angel Martinez, then seventeen, and Miguel Venegas, then sixteen. Martinez was given the death penalty and for a time was the youngest person on Texas death row. His punishment was commuted to life imprisonment. Venegas was imprisoned but not tried as an adult.[15]

The axe and knives used in the crime were provided to the killers by Milo Flores, a son of then State District Judge Manuel R. "Meme" Flores. Milo Flores was also the alleged getaway driver.
==============================

The unseen fire.

As I push past the age of the average medieval king, I start to take notice of some individuals who, like me, seem to burn with the unseen fire.

I'm referring to the intense passion, wisdom, and intelligence that few people seem to possess nowadays on at any point in their lives. Sure you may have faith, or aptitude, or even good health. But how often do those attributes all come together in a perfect union for DECADES at a time?

Rare.

I am, however, convinced I've burned away most of my potential in self-seclusion considering how often I chafe at "the bit". In a slightly different timeline, I might have been a mercenary, a child prodigy, or even a charismatic leader of nations. But sometimes you just shun the limelight and want to be alone.

Too bad.

I spend an inordinate amount of time in my life wondering "what could have been" or "what's next?" Don't let yourself become like me. Being alone is fine for some, but the notion that you have wasted your youth and great opportunity is difficult to live down as age creeps in.

One cast, two cast.

Finally out of the things. Good riddance hot and stifling summer.

It occurs to me after I am out of the infernal things WHY you are better off being in a cast after suffering a bone fracture. The idea, apparently, goes beyond protection. The sheer immobility promotes atrophy and ligament "shrinkage", which appears to pull the fracture tighter together. This combination of immobility and protection (from further breakage and trauma) allows the bone to heal undisturbed for as long as the cast remains on.

The only problem: Seizing up or calcification of the joints.

I'm currently learning how to make a fist again after not having done so in 2 months. Very painful to do so, but not as painful as the Hand Doctor pressing down on my broken metacarpal with his viselike fingers after I complained about pain! Some people. Sheesh.

Hope everyone else is doing fine and healing on time.

Got to mow the lawn and push an olympic bar a few times on the bench this afternoon.

Can't remember a time when I was happier!

The continuous winding...

I lost touch with a good friend who moved to El Paso many, many years ago but still remember a few words of wisdom he passed along about cars and life:

"You've got to wind-out the gear, man. Don't shift too early!"

Never has this been more true than in my late 30's, and with a broken hand (which I am currently struggling with to type this post. You should see the unedited version...)

I continue to push every decade harder than the one before it, occasionally falling victim to laziness but ultimately rising above and accepting change for what it is. This is basically "winding out the gears", or hitting redline as you near the last of what made you you in the previous ten years. For me, it has been the clinging belief that I can do anything physically and my love life can be put on hold until I "get older".

Well, older is NOW.

I finally took the leap and jumped on an explicit online dating service to see what would result. And boy, it's just exactly what I expected to find. Kinda like myspace, but everyone's on a much shorter timeline. "I'm paying for THIS, so here's my phone number! CALL ME!"

The demons of my 20's still follow me, but I have cast them aside temporarily in the hopes that someone else out there wants to share some of the more funny and quirky moments of my life. Still, I hate the meat market, and was never terribly comfortable with any kind of stranger-meets-stranger-for-love scenario. Meh. Whatever works I guess. Continue to embrace change, however uncomfortable it might be.

Speaking of change, it seems I've miscalculated my time in this stupid new hand cast. Five weeks, not three.

Given that I am now typing with both hands, I'm not so sure I want to wait out the last two...

: )

"Paging Dr. Dremel. Dr. Dremel to the garage woodbench, STAT!"

Tiny hand cast

At the follow-up appointment, I was kinda nervous about how they would react to the fact that I no longer had the cast on...

When I went back for the X-ray, the technician (who happens to be a big road biker and former triathlete until a car accident maimed him) said,

"hey - what happened to your cast?"

me: "I got sea water in it. It got so bad I had it removed."

...silence...

me: "Bet you've heard that before."

"No I haven't. Not this week at least. But it's just Monday."

So apparently I'm not the only patient to have a cast removed before follow-up. This was further reinforced by the Surgeon who walked in as I was unwrapping my split and asked the same question. I gave him the same answer. To which he replied, "I never really expected you to stay in it anyway!"

!!!

I guess they've seen their fair share of crazy patients.

Anyhow, I like my new hand cast WAY better than the short arm cast:



http://www.vimeo.com/5478715

Gonna take my first comfortable nap in 4 weeks now...


ZZZzzzzzz....

Summer doldrums...

It's been a while since I had a chance to post anything coherent, and now in the oppressive South Texas July heat I have a chance to do so (while hiding inside under a 79 degree air conditioning vent!)

Roughly 3 weeks ago I broke several bones in my right hand while goofing off on a mountain bike ride. As I type all of this left-handed, I think back on how the accident occurred and, most importantly, why it is paramount to stay FOCUSSED when straying into dangerous situations. Attempting to show off to a friend on some BMX trails landed me face-first into the dirt and crumpled onto my bony right hand. On the lamest, tiniest camel-hump of a BMX jump ever. Way to go, idiot!

Now, three weeks later, I am only left with the constant nerve pain and aggravation of a smelly, sticky arm cast and the lopery that results from contantly lugging the thing around.

Until today.

I have been fighting with my doctor's office staff about coming in 3 days earlier than scheduled in order to remove my abomination of a cast, only to be snubbed every time. "We are closed Friday because of the holiday" or, "We are very busy on Thursday - you won't be able to fit in!" Say what you will about managed medicine, this is what I call bullshit stupidity. The poorest form of customer service as it applies to your very health.

I want to say here that I really REALLY tried to be patient, as I have been all my life. But to literally be told, "No. No!" on the phone when requesting an advance appointment is incomprehensible.

So I have done what any rational, thinking human would have done in dire straits: I have taken therapy into my own hands. After some careful research and consideration of the health hazards involved, I've paid my dues to Dr. Dremel and very gently extracted myself from this short arm fiberglass rotting cast. I'm sure there will be some discontent when seeing the Dr. in the next 24hrs, but you do what you have to.

I want to make sure there is no misunderstanding of my motivations to remove my own cast in this video. The timeline was met ( 3 weeks) and the subsequent splint was wrapped with finger support in outriggers. The fear of bone or rotational deformity should make everyone thinking about doing this THINK TWICE.

See your doctor and stay on schedule, but don't put up with petty office scheduling bullshit if you can't afford it health-wise.

What your $100 co-pay to Dr. Dremel will get you from hjv on Vimeo.

Can't stop. Must keep sanity.

Swimming with a Dry Pro cast cover from hjv on Vimeo.

The Raven

`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

It's time for a break...

...of the 3rd metacarpal kind:

Music and primal urges...

An odd primal wiring makes me want to jump headfirst into conflict if a certain song or rhythm plays. I know I'm not the only man who feels this...

No vacation in a 365/24/7 world...

Reality came crashing down when I asked a co-worker at lunch about having Memorial Day "off":

"What? Are you kidding? We're a 365/24/7 operation! Unless you ASK for it off, you ain't gettin it!"

Welcome to the Real World (TM).

And on behalf of the Real World, I managed to get popped for speeding this past Sunday morning by the Aggressive Driver program the local PD runs in town. I find this incredibly ironic, considering how many bluehairs I've pissed off in the slow lane for driving too slow. Yes, it's hard to believe, but I upset the 80+ year old crowd by driving too damned slowly in the right lane at random. There's only so much you can do to push a 4000 pound Toyota 4Runner to speed and still maintain 22mpg.

Ridiculous.

In any case, this is the first speeding ticket I've gotten in over 15 YEARS. Yes, that's right. Fifteen. Years. The shame should laugh me out of the building alone, but I have a plan. It goes something like this:

ME: Your honor, I can't afford this ticket, on my record or otherwise.
HONOR: What's the story?
ME: I need to reduce my fine to court costs and maybe some kind of probation if that's possible
HONOR: OK, go see the register over there and she will tell you how much you owe.

Typically, this situation ends up in me paying about 60% of the fine the infraction was dialed in for. Honestly, if I had a lawyer-bulldog on a leash, I'd totally pull that privilege, but this is the plight of the average-Joe here, and you do what it takes to get to the end of the finish line.

Reminds me of a friend who was FTA (Failure to Appear) for many of his tickets once. He finally showed up in court and INSISTED that they jail him because he had no money to pay the fine... This didn't work out well, with the court clerk trying to get the guy to pay up or go home. Buddy insisted on going to jail, but they would NOT have him.

In the end, he paid up.

Don't misinterpret this story. The local law enforcement is more than happy to let you spend 3 days in jail for a traffic fine, but they will do everything in their power to collect your $$$ before that happens. Jail, while always an eye-opener, can be a refreshing slap in the face of cold, cruel reality. Even for a Class C Misdemeanor (which technically isn't a jailable offense in Texas).

Pencils and a notepad for your next 3 dinners, anyone?

That's right - I made it. Video Proof.

Riding the wall at the Graff Pavilion at OP Schnabel Park from hjv on Vimeo.

Fun with "Your factory warranty is about to expire" Robocalls

Here's what to do after pressing "1":

(from a reader comment on Consumerist.com)

Them: What make an model please?
Me: 2003 Manigula

Them: A..what, acura?
Me: a 2003 Phrenbarbu

Them: An, Isuzu?
Me: No a 2004 Blanardo

At this point they usually have to go retreive some book or other reference to start looking things up. Then I usually lose interest and hang up.

I NEVER make the calls short and cost effective for them.

Buda, TX wiener dog races 2009

The fire engine crew was there to resucitate folks who passed out laughing...


Buda, TX wiener dog races 2009 from hjv on Vimeo.

Eerie comments to the BBC regarding the Swine Flu outbreak in Mexico

I work as a resident doctor in one of the biggest hospitals in Mexico City and sadly, the situation is far from "under control". As a doctor, I realise that the media does not report the truth. Authorities distributed vaccines among all the medical personnel with no results, because two of my partners who worked in this hospital (interns) were killed by this new virus in less than six days even though they were vaccinated as all of us were. The official number of deaths is 20, nevertheless, the true number of victims are more than 200. I understand that we must avoid to panic, but telling the truth it might be better now to prevent and avoid more deaths.

Yeny Gregorio Dávila, Mexico City

The situation in Mexico City is really not normal. There is a sense of uncertainty that borders on paranoid behaviour in some cases. At this very moment, Mexican TV is showing how military forces are giving masks to the people in the streets. Moreover the news is sending alarming messages for the audience. Really, the atmosphere in the city is unsettling, a good example: pubs and concerts are being closed or cancelled and people don't haven thorough information. In this city (and country) there is an urgent need for assertive information, no paranoid messages from the government or the Mexican media.

Patricio Barrientos and Aranzazu Nuñez, Mexico City

Massive events have been cancelled at the National Auditorium - Mexico City's largest indoor venue with capacity of 10,000 - which has been closed. Two soccer games have been cancelled at the Olympic Stadium. A sold out game with 70,000 expected attendance will be played behind closed doors. Another game at the famous Azteca Stadium that would draw an attendance of 50,000 will also be played behind closed doors.

Juan Carlos Leon Calderon, Mexico City

It's eerily quiet here in the capital. Lots of people with masks, Facebook communities exchanging gallows humour, everybody waiting to see if schools and universities will stay closed for ten days (as goes the rumour). All masks have been used up, and we are waiting for new supplies.

Dr Duncan Wood, Mexico City


Yesterday in my office it was a bit surreal walking in to see all in blue masks with deep cleansing of computer equipment and surfaces going on. Let's hope it is contained and does not escalate. The local news is reporting 200 fatalities and reports of flu spreading from areas outside of Mexico City. Given the volume of daily commuter traffic on cramped busses and trains, this may not have to be too virulent to be disastrous in human terms. I wonder what controls there will be on flights in and out.

Will Shea, Mexico City

I work for the government as a head of a computer infrastructure operations department. At work we are doing several actions to try not to expose workers. We sent several home. I support the Pumas football team and the very important match with the Guadalajara team will be played behind closed doors. My family and I are going to stay home all weekend. We feel a little scared and confused with the feeling that we are not given being told the truth. Many people think the numbers of dead people is higher than we are being told.

Marcos, Mexico City

The whole city is affected, I have a very bad feeling about this. Two of my friends at work are sick, they were sick for a couple of days, they went to the hospital and they sent them back to work. The doctor told them it was just a flu until Friday when the alarm was spread, then they were allowed to go home. I work in a call centre and I'm worried because there are no windows in the building so it cannot be ventilated and around 400 people work there.

We all have talked to our supervisor but no one has done anything not even sterilise or disinfect the area. We will be sick soon and, well, do the math - 400 can infect at least another two per day. The authorities say there's nothing they can do since it's a private company and I can assure you, the company I work for is not the only one like this in the whole city. Us workers don't have much protection from our government and if we want to keep our jobs we have to go anyway.

Adriana, Mexico City

I'm a college student in Mexico City, and I can only say that the information that the media has provided doesn't seem to be enough, we do not now how serious it is because they have failed to mention it. There have been two ways of responding to this event, the ones that have entered themselves into quarantine claiming that the government is hiding something much more serious, and those who take this as a joke saying that everyone is overreacting. To put a cherry on top all kind of crazy rumours are flying around - that they are going to quarantine Mexico City, that a school and some specific branches of offices and jobs are going to be suspended for days to come, and so on. I wish more info was available, for example how to prevent it? Have there been many deaths? Is there a threat of an epidemic?

Mari A, Mexico City

I didn't hear about the flu epidemic until last night at 2330. Yesterday the streets were almost empty compared to a normal Friday afternoon. The media is bombarding the same information over and over again, but the authorities haven't said anything new yet, only that they have enough vaccines for those with the flu and that we should avoid public spaces.

Paulina, Mexico City

Two's Up!

Had an awesome day riding in ridiculously high humidity to AC/DC.

Pensive and moody while I jammed to Blow Up Your Video, altogether cognizant of ANZAC Day (thanks to a friend) and an old movie called Gallipoli.


Three is company
Come on,
Last stand
Down to my last dime
I ain't got the sense to leave
The dealers cutting fine
Last draw
Back against the wall
Depending where the money is
Is where I'm gonna fall
Ace high
Hide your poker eyes
I didn't want to laugh too much
When I picked up the prize
Lady Luck
Standing at my side
I'll leave with more than I brought in
And I get out with my life
I get out with my life

Muchos snakes ahead!!!

Rattlesnake Meets Bike from hjv on Vimeo.

I wanted to weigh in on what appears to be a rather innocuous video of me bike riding to some music.

Nature is a brutal and unforgiving bitch, and I lapsed into what seemed like hours of fighting a tangled snake in the bottom-half of my bike in this video. Camera angles be DAMNED. The horrifying sight of watching a half-pinned rattlesnake try to strike your very leg that is mercilessly locked into a metal bicycle pedal is something I cannot erase from my memory. Not in a week at least.

I spent most of Monday morning researching and remembering snake bites of friends and strangers alike. Most of my phone conversations that very afternoon seemed flippant as to the outcome of such an encounter, but my friends (every SINGLE one of them) reminded me how bad a hemotoxicic bite could have been. I'll leave out the details regarding vomiting blood and self-urination, but the reality is that I was about 1 mile from the nearest road, in fairly heavy grass and scrub brush so I'm not even sure the cell phone would have worked in an emergency...

Photo after graphic photo of pit viper bites accompanying gut-wrenching testimony by bite victims made me want to get up and leave work and sit in a corner at home for awhile. This was in direct contradiction to the EXTREME elation I felt just minutes after the event, where I biked like an adrenalized demon through the remaining mile of unknown singletrack while all the RIGHT songs played through the tiny earphones of the iPod.

Proof of a God?

I don't care.

I HAVE SURVIVED, and that which does not kill me makes me stronger.

Retreat to the 1980's

I've been dipping into the 80's in my mind recently...

They seem to represent the best years of my life - full of naivete and excitement. I can still picture many of the formative events in my life that took place between 1980 and 1988. Legos. The beach. Skateboarding. Dungeons and Dragons! BMX. Ostentatious sports cars gleaming in the sun... Fireflies on the side of the road. My first sexual encounter. My first love...

I feel a pressing sadness in recent days, probably due to an unexpected streak of meaninglessness in life and work. Don't get me wrong - I love my job! But the gristmill that is day-to-day life grinds you into obscurity, despite sustaining the comfort of an average suburbanite. Today, I read obituaries in the newspaper. But my thoughts drift back to the tail-end of the 1970's when I stared at a KISS poster my cousin displayed in her room, wondering what kind of person would listen to such demonic music! And why a poster of Andy Gibb was platered right next to that? And did Andy Gibb really only wear tennis shoes in all his photo shoots? Too late now, as he is dead from a cocaine overdose.

So many vivid memories at the turn of my life, when passing the threshhold of manhood was still such a mysterious event. I honestly couldn't explain the electricity in the air back then to kids of the 90's (or even of the new Millenium) - it was a mix of danger and excitement. Will you live past Friday? Who can remember the proliferation of cocaine use and the Soviet nuclear threat? Strange indeed.

And now, reaching adulthood, life is no longer a mystery. It is a dirty, easily-repeatable experiment in base emotions and boredom. If you can learn to be a productive citizen in American society, then you may learn something about what makes you tick. For many, the ultimate lesson is lost. They wander in the fog of the past and hide from the threat of the future. Not sure that is what most people really wanted out of life, kids or no, but it facilitates the "zombie lifestyle" that permeates this country today.

Hope some of us wake up and one day the rest notice.

Crazy RC Mountain Bike

Crazy RC Mountain Bike from hjv on Vimeo.

Me + Flip Mino + Kona Mt. Bike + Leon Creek + Vimeo

Me + Flip Mino + Kona Mt. Bike + Leon Creek + Vimeo = montage at the speed of barf.

If you are susceptible to dizziness or vertigo, fast-forward to the last 30 seconds where I show the actual camera mount.


Trial run of Flip Mino at OP Schnabel Park in San Antonio, Texas from hjv on Vimeo.

The Flip Mino HD goes sailing at OP Schnabel Park

So I decided to pick up a Flip Mino HD this weekend, mostly because I've been wanting to try real-time video recording of my mountain biking for years (some attempts using older 8mm cameras have been a disaster!)


This little camera seemed to do the trick, as it was about 1/2 the size of a pack of cigarettes and weighed about as much (2 or 3 ounces).

I built this tiny mount using some wing nuts, washers, and an old bike headlamp mount and parked the Flip Mino HD on it. Despite being very sturdy, the mount could not prevent the little HD camera from producing "crackling" and "undulating" in the resulting video clips. Nevertheless, it was a pretty cool experiment that is easily reproducible by any mountain biker who wants to record some of their exploits. The Mino weighs about 3 ounces.



My biggest complaints are:

1) Audio sensitivity leads to the track "crackling" or "popping". This is unavoidable.
2) Video quality is poor when the camera vibrates, leading to a "waviness" or undulation in the track when played back.

My biggest recommendations are:

1) Small size
2) Nearly weightless!

Went flying today...

Got a chance to go flying today - off my bike and into a small grove of trees at about 10mph.



The stupid rider who blindsided me going the WRONG way up a race trail had the nuts to ask me,

"Where's your helmet?"

as I lay crumpled in the gravel.

I couldn't rise to my feet fast enough to punch him in the face. In fact, rising to my feet was quite a task in itself, and I had to limp around a bit leaning on the bike before I felt brave enough to ride again.

The funnest part about crashing on a bike is not knowing EXACTLY what you've injured for a few minutes. You usually spot some blood on your hand or maybe something is in your eye (a skin avulsion) and you have to do a body/bike check before moving on. This time, I was lucky. I narrowly avoided tearing my face off in the bark of a small oak, but ripped up my right knee and right forearm on some ugly rocks.



As I half stumbled/half rode away, the rider managed to come back around and almost knock me over again!

I made some comment about, "I keep running into you" but was in too much pain to do anything but keep moving forward. I don't know what the dude's problem was, but I managed to run into him AGAIN as I crested a small hill to allow my blood to cool off in the stiff Southern wind. At this point, I sank into Delta Wave mode and just watched as he went by - ready to tear something off him (like an eye or nose) if he got too close.



Adding to the joy was a 4 mile ride home, with some ugly black abrasions down my knee reminding me that I was hurt and needed to do some wound management. As I swept into my neighborhood roads, I was almost hit from behind by a woman driving a small Hyundai.

*sigh*

The pain set in as I rode into my garage and managed to clean up the bike of dirt and blood for a few minutes with an old t-shirt. Spent some time scrubbing off my arm and leg wounds with isopropyl alcohol and soap. The word "burn" does not sufficiently express the pain I felt while doing this.

Anyway, nothing a rum and Advil cocktail can't fix.

: )

Heavy Metal Histogram

I've always wondered about 'ol Ronnie James Dio's crazy song lyrics. In fact, I've often suspected the average Dio song could not be written without the words "rainbow", "dragon", or "night" occurring at least once. Perl line. Well, here's a fun histogram of some Dio songs to get an idea of what words the Metal Master likes to use:


cat dio.txt | tr '[a-z]' '[A-Z]' | tr '\t' ' ' | tr ' ' '\n' | sed '/^$/d' | sort -d | uniq -c | sort -nr


I am using "Diamonds - The Best of Dio", which is a collection of the more popular Dio songs, as the sample set:




216 THE
103 YOU
58 IN
50 WE
50 AND
47 A
42 TO
37 OF
33 DON'T
32 BUT
29 FOR
28 THEY
25 YOUR
25 CAN
24 IT
23 ON
23 EVIL
22 THAT
21 NEVER
20 WE'RE
20 DREAM
19 SEE
18 YOU'RE
18 ROCK
18 JUST
18 IT'S
17 ROCK,
15 UP
15 RAINBOW
15 HIDE
14 NO
13 THERE'S
13 ONE
13 BE
12 YOU'VE
12 I
12 AWAY
11 ONLY
11 OH
11 KNOW
11 IS
11 FEEL
10 SO
10 LIKE
10 HEAVEN
10 ARE
9 THEY'RE
9 NIGHT
9 LOCK
9 LET
9 LAST
9 HEART
9 AT
9 ALL
8 YOU'LL
8 OUT
8 ME
8 LINE
8 LIGHT
8 I'M
8 GOT
8 FIND
8 DOWN
8 DARK
8 COME
8 ALWAYS
7 WITHOUT
7 WE'LL
7 WAS
7 SCREAMING
7 SAIL
7 OVER
7 MAKE
7 LOOK
7 IF
7 HUNGRY
7 HOLY
7 GO
7 DOOR
7 DO
7 CHILDREN
7 'CAUSE
6 WORLD
6 WOLVES
6 TIME
6 THINGS
6 SACRED
6 RUN
6 ROLL
6 RIDE
6 OR
6 OOH
6 MIND
6 MIDNIGHT
6 MAY
6 MAGIC
6 GET
6 FLY
6 FIRE
6 DIVER
6 COMING
6 CAUSE
6 'N'
5 YEAH
5 WITH
5 WILL
5 WILD
5 WHEN
5 WAY
5 TURN
5 THAT'S
5 TALK
5 SING
5 REALLY
5 MORNING
5 LEFT
5 HE'S
5 GONNA
5 CARRY
5 CALLING
5 BEFORE
5 BEEN
4 WERE
4 WANT
4 TOO
4 THROUGH
4 THEY'LL
4 THERE
4 THEM
4 TAKE
4 SUN
4 STRANGERS
4 STILL
4 SOMEWHERE
4 REAL
4 PAIN
4 NOW
4 LOST
4 LEAVE
4 INTO
4 INSIDE
4 HERE
4 FIRST
4 EYES
4 CORNER
4 BACK
4 ALONE
3 YOURSELF
3 YEAH!
3 WORTH
3 WORDS
3 WOLVES,
3 WHAT
3 UPON
3 TWO
3 TRUTH
3 TIGER
3 THEY'D
3 THEN
3 STEEL
3 STARTING
3 SPELL
3 SOUL
3 SONG,
3 SOMEBODY
3 SIGN
3 SHOULD
3 SEA
3 SAY
3 SANCTUARY
3 RUNNING
3 RUN,
3 RIGHT
3 REACH
3 OWN
3 OPENS
3 OOOH
3 ON,
3 OH,
3 NEED
3 MEAN
3 LIES
3 LIAR
3 HOUR
3 HOME
3 HOLD
3 HIS
3 HELL
3 HEAR
3 HAND
3 GROUND
3 GOTTA
3 GOES
3 FREE
3 FOUND
3 FOREVER
3 FALL
3 DIVINE
3 DARKNESS
3 DANCING
3 CRADLE
3 CRACK
3 COULD
3 COLD
3 CLOUD
3 CAT
3 CAN'T
3 BRING
3 BLEEDING
3 BLACK
3 BEHIND
3 ANOTHER
3 AN
3 AGAIN
3 'EM
2 YOUNG
2 YEAH,
2 WRITE
2 WON'T
2 WOMEN
2 WIZARD
2 WITCH
2 WHO'S
2 WHEREVER
2 WHERE
2 WHENEVER
2 WHEEL
2 WHAT'S
2 WATCH
2 WARM
2 WALL
2 VISION
2 UNDERSTAND
2 TRACES
2 TOSS
2 TOMORROW
2 THROW
2 THINK
2 THEIR
2 STRIPES
2 STARS
2 STARLIGHT
2 STAR
2 SONG
2 SOMETIMES
2 SOMEONE
2 SOME
2 SNOW
2 SLAMMED
2 SKY
2 SIGHT
2 SHOUT
2 SEEN
2 SEEMS
2 SEEM
2 SEE,
2 SAD
2 RETURNED
2 RELEASE
2 RAINBOWS
2 RAIN
2 PRAY
2 PLACES
2 PENETRATE
2 OUT!
2 OPEN
2 ONES
2 OFF
2 NOTHING'S
2 NEVER,
2 ME,
2 MAN'S
2 LONG
2 LITTLE
2 LIGHTNING
2 LIFETIME
2 LIE
2 LEARNING!
2 KILLING
2 KEY
2 I'VE
2 HOW
2 HOLE
2 HE
2 HAPPEN
2 GETTING
2 FROM
2 FRIEND
2 FOLLOW
2 FEAR
2 FACES
2 EYES...
2 EVER
2 EDGE
2 DOES
2 DEAD
2 DAY
2 DANGER
2 DANCE
2 CROSS
2 CRAWL
2 COLDER
2 CLEAN
2 CEILING
2 CAUGHT
2 CARPET
2 BUSHES
2 BURN
2 BORN
2 BLINDING
2 BETWEEN
2 BEST
2 BEND
2 BECOMING
2 BEAST
2 AWAY,
2 AROUND
2 ANYWAY
2 ANSWER
2 ANGEL
2 ALONG
2 AIR
2 ABOUT
2 ...
1 YOU,
1 YOU'D
1 YES!
1 YEAR
1 WRITES
1 WONDER
1 WISH
1 WINTER
1 WHY
1 WELL
1 WAITING
1 VOICES
1 VELVET
1 TURNS
1 TURNING
1 TRIED
1 TREASURE
1 TRAIN
1 TOUCHED
1 TOUCH
1 TOOTH
1 TODAY
1 TILL
1 THUNDER
1 THROWN
1 THRILL
1 THOSE
1 THIS
1 THAT)
1 TERRIBLE
1 TEAR
1 SURVIVE
1 SURRENDER
1 SURE
1 SUNLIGHT
1 STUMBLE
1 STRANGER
1 STORM
1 STONE
1 STARING
1 STAND
1 SPIRIT
1 SPEAK
1 SPARKLE
1 SOUND
1 SORROW
1 SOON
1 SOMETHINGS
1 SOMETHING
1 SMOKE
1 SMELL
1 SLIPS
1 SLEEP
1 SKIES
1 SHOULDER
1 SHIP
1 SHINY
1 SHINE
1 SHE
1 SHADOWS
1 SEARCH
1 SCREAMED
1 SAME
1 SAID
1 SAFE
1 RUNNER
1 RUMBLING
1 ROCK!
1 ROAD
1 RISING
1 RHYME
1 READY
1 RAN
1 RACE
1 QUICKLY
1 QUICK
1 PUREST
1 PROTECT
1 PROMISE
1 PRETTY
1 PRETEND
1 PRAISE
1 POINTING
1 PLEASURE
1 PLAY
1 PICTURE
1 PARADISE
1 PAPER
1 PAGES
1 OUR
1 OTHER
1 OLDER
1 OLD
1 NOWHERE
1 NOT
1 NOBODY
1 NO,
1 NIGHT-TIME
1 NEEDS,
1 NEARLY
1 NAME
1 MYSTIC
1 MYSTERY
1 MY
1 MOVES
1 MORE
1 MOON
1 MMMMH
1 MIND,
1 MIDNIGHT,
1 MIDDLE
1 MEANT
1 MATTER
1 MASTER
1 MASQUERADE
1 MANY
1 MAN
1 MAKES
1 MADE
1 LUCKY
1 LOSE
1 LOOKING
1 LISTEN
1 LIGHTS,
1 LIGHT,
1 LIFE'S
1 LETS
1 LAUGH
1 LATE
1 LASTS
1 KNOW,
1 KITCHEN
1 KILL
1 JUMP
1 INSANE
1 IMITATION
1 IMAGE
1 I,
1 I'LL
1 HOUSES
1 HOT
1 HOPE
1 HOLDING
1 HEY
1 HERE,
1 HELL,
1 HARM
1 HARD
1 HALL
1 GUESS
1 GOODBYE
1 GOOD
1 GO!
1 GLASS
1 GIVING
1 GIVE
1 FRONT
1 FLOWERS
1 FIN
1 FIGHT
1 FAIR
1 EVEN
1 ENDING
1 EMOTION
1 EAST
1 EACH
1 DRUG
1 DRIVE
1 DREAMS
1 DREAMER
1 DRAGON
1 DOORWAYS
1 DONE
1 DIFFERENT
1 DIES
1 DIE
1 DIAMONDS
1 DEVIL
1 DEMONS
1 DECIDED
1 DARKNESS,
1 DANCER
1 CRY
1 CROWN
1 CRIED
1 COMES
1 CLOSE
1 CITY
1 CHOICES
1 CHILD
1 CHASING
1 CHASE
1 CHANGES
1 CHANGE
1 CANNOT
1 CALL
1 BROKE
1 BRINGS
1 BREATH
1 BRAIN
1 BLUE
1 BLACK'S
1 BEWARE
1 BELIEVE
1 BEGINS
1 BECOMES
1 BARGAIN
1 BAD
1 AWAY-GET
1 AWAY!
1 ATTACK
1 AS
1 ANYONE
1 ANYMORE
1 ANY
1 ANGER,
1 AM
1 ALL'S
1 AH
1 AFRAID
1 'TILL
1 'ROUND

Fun with blood pressure!

Now that I am back in the fray, I spent some time at a top-notch dentist.

Background: The only thing NOT broken on me is my teeth. The occasional cavity or plaque is about as exciting as it gets in almost 4 decades.

So aside from having to remove my gold necklace during a panoramic X-Ray, I was a bit disturbed to find my blood pressure was some 20 points over normal for someone my age. Granted, the morning had been fast and stressy, but I was still unhappy about the mechanized readout just before the tooth cleaning. As the hygenist scraped away, I mulled what yet another high BP reading might mean to me.

Several months ago, I wandered in to a doctor's clinic to find out if I was healthy or whatnot. The diagnosis was a resounding, "yes", but I registered high on the blood pressure meter. I am aware of the fact that a certain anxiety exists when visiting the Doctor/Dentist/CPA, but this flew in the face of my medical history and the struggle I endured as a child/teen to keep from passing out due to low blood pressure. In many ways, I welcomed the ability to not faint from standing up too quickly at a public event, or even have a pulse that kept medical professionals from freaking out when hooking up random equipment to my body.

I still remember getting my wisdom teeth extracted and the Orthodontist proclaiming how low my blood pressure was at the time. It still didn't prevent me from almost punching him in the face under anaestheasia when he cracked one of my teeth to aid in extracting it (this is not an exaggeration).

DENTAL SUPRISE!

Regardless, today has been a harrying experience. What made matters worse was talking with my mother and father in two separte conversations about the day's developments. One suggested I should start on ACE inhibitors while the other reassured me it was a transient event and I should re-check when I was rested to get a truer reading. All this happening as I was driving home from work, so I took a chance and decided to stop by an urgent care clinic to see if they could take a BP reading with me in my current condition.

This is when things took a comical turn.

I would laugh if it wasn't for the fact that it was ME suffering from potential health problems, but I pulled into the parking lot of a local clinic and marched in to the waiting area to be seen.

The young female clerk was busy outprocessing a woman who had just had her child seen by the clinic doc, and I patiently waited (with an ugly throbbing pain near my clavicle - is that the subclavian artery?) while they finished. After a minute or so, I leaned up against the counter.

"Hi. I am feeling like shit today. My blood pressure is really high - there's a pain near my chest and I was wondering if someone might be able to take my blood pressure? Anyone who can put a cuff on me and take a reading?"

The poor girl almost fell backward in her chair in an attempt to alert the nurse on duty, but she ushered me in and I flopped down in a chair with an armrest while she fumbled with an automatic BP cuff and meter.

Now the funny part:

As I sat in the medi-chair half aware of what was going on, the young desk clerk was trying her hardest to secure the BP cuff to my forearm. Even though I had my shirtsleeve pulled up, she kept insisting on wrapping the cuff midpoint of my Ulna. I am a fairly lighthearted person, so I gently insisted that I had "seen it wrapped around the upper arm" in the movies. The poor girl embarassedly wrapped the cuff about my upper arm and set the computer to task. Within a few seconds, the entire contraption was beeping loudly and flashing the following display:

146
101

Said young woman almost knocked me over in an attempt to turn the whole thing off with the POWER button.

Even at this hour of the night, I don't know what scared me more. The fact that I had a high "situational" reading, or whether the clerk was trying to shut the machine up since it was alerting that the BP reading was NOT NORMAL.

Fortunately, I talked with the NP on the floor and she reassured me not to panic regarding the high reading and to rest a bit and come back later to get a baseline reading.

Sensible? Maybe.

Getting old sucks.

Wow - Injuries galore at 38

Big surprise!

Your body at 38 can't put up with the rigors of crazy shit like BMX wall riding.

I am recuperating after nearly paralyzing myself with some very aggresive BMX riding two weekends ago. Somewhere in the C-3 area of my spine.

Slowly but surely, I can turn my head left again without too much pain.

Getting old sucks.

Considering hitting the trails soon...

Death has been stalking me.

An unknown illness has recently slammed most of us at work face-first into the concrete of reality. Hardest part is not knowing whether it is a rampant form of allergic response to junk in the air during one of the worst droughts in Central Texas (detail junkies may search TCEQ monitoring stations for correlated data) or some rogue Flu strain that has been resistant to vaccinations from late 2008. Either way, I am uber-cautious to head into the dirt trails that surround me for fear of relapsing into what tore me to pieces twice in 36 days from December to February of 2009...

There is a palpable sense of fear out there - Something I haven't felt since the early 1990's when tanks stormed the Kremlin in a desperate bid to oust the old Communist Party hardliners who had taken the building with Kalashnikov's and vodka...





Of course, that all failed and time marched on.

Hope to reclaim my stake across the NW bike trails of San Antonio, once this lingering "Flappamucosis" dissipates...

*SNEEZE*

One thing they DID have right in 1972...

Mmmmm. Steak! And a liquor server, too!

Reading Popular Mechanics magazines from the 1970's, c/o Google Books this morning, I came across this odd contraption that wouldn't pass fire code today: The genuine wood veneer Electric Steak Grill and Liquor Server (a server is a waist-height table that you usually place near a dining room table and sit extra dishes and accessories for dinner on). Aside from the general trip of eyeballing old cigarette ads where every many looked like Robert Redford, it was a fun read. Worked my way through about 7 issues before feeling an intense need to carve an inexpensive wood duck decoy and smoke a few Kools.

Did life seem ridiculously easy back then, or is that just the fog of time setting in?

Booze and steaks.

And cigarettes for everyone!

Beefy Score

A short retrospective: Of Barrons and Bicycling

Three years have passed since I last had to bicycle to work. My old Summer habit of biking to work an hour ahead of time just so I could stop by the University library to read the latest weekly issue of Barrons seems like so long ago. A distant memory.

I still remember getting caught in the rain about halfway to work on my mountain bike. Not a pleasant feeling, considering I was also paying a mortgage and a car payment and had just made a huge life change in order to pursue a line of work I enjoyed over raw monetary compensation. Through the looking glass, it all seems so pleasant and romantic, but the reality was more pain and worry than I care to endure ever again.

In any case, I read tonight where print media is finally giving up the ghost - possibly a direct result of the incessant ubiquitiousness of the Internet. Cheap and available. It would appear even that some periodic print media (like newspapers) are actually RAISING their subscription pricing to counter this trend. God knows why, but talk about the Brachiosaurus burying its head in the sand. While I won't be so apocalyptic as to say it is completely over for this apparently failed business model, I must say they are not helping things by increasing subscription rates.

Case in point: One of my favorite reads around town is a local FREE rag that highlights political views as well as the local Arts and Music scene. The name of the publication is The Current, and I am more aquainted with their publishers than the casual reader of this blog might thing. But it has all been through chance over the years, beginning with the first hesitant pass at lifting the pulpy thing from a wire bracket while waiting for my lunch in a popular greasy spoon near downtown. To be absolutely truthful, I thought it was some kind of Gay Mag or maybe a discount classified ad publication. Surprised to find out it was actually a little bit of both, and more.

As the days claw viciously by in the midst of economic turmoil, it is nice to know you can still hit up the local library or even cheap eateriers and get some professional literary commentary on local events without having to cough up a portion of your wages just to read a gathering of printed opinions.

But I still wouldn't ride my bike 3 miles to read the musings of a random author unless I was flat broke.

Wicked illness strikes twice...

"Give him a taste of death, so that he may recognize it when it comes again..."




I am slowly coming around after a week of hell. The most horrific illness I have endured to date. A slow and simmering pain reducing me to nothing more than an open-mouthed stare as the days crawled by...

Worst Winter drought on record in the area.

Could be something in the dust.

Unwillingly attuned.

It finally happened.

After a week of stressy work and coming home to unwind by watching Arch Enemy in concert, I had a horrific midmorning dream.

Without getting into the details, it involved me jumping out a 2nd story window of a house to desperately get away from a small black-haired girl who represented something very menacing. Accentuating the oddness of the dream was that it happened during a sunny, blue skied day. With vibrantly-green grass on the lawn.

Nightmares can be twisted.

Tonight, on a total whim, I went looking for a random image to post into a new blog musing and ran across something that sent a chill up my neck. I was thinking about the Swedish heavy metal band that I have been enthralled by lately and ran across a fan site where the fan was the EXACT SAME PERSON I saw in my nightmarish 2nd story bedroom. It was a moment when the world stops around you and your brain snaps to attention.

Was this right? Am I seeing things? This has got to be coincidence - move on.

Unfortunately, the more I clicked through the website, the more unsettled I felt... It wasn't the content. Just the imagery that matched what I had seen in my head the night before.

Within several seconds, I was gone. I am not interested in reliving any of my precognitive premonitional pasts from childhood. And brother, let me tell you... I have, in dreams, seen a few things that have made me a believer.

Something other than us overlooks our earthly gyrations.

Christians would like to call this Jesus. But I am not that confident Jesus is what is out there.

The feeling is not one similiar to deja vu (which is more of an instantaneous confusion and disorientation) but more of an immediate recognition and incredulity. Shock. I am hesitant to delve into this discussion any more, for regret of stirring up a religious firefight. Nevertheless, my suspicion is that you cannot run away from who you are or what you are attuned to, regardless of your lot in life. Some folks may have these experiences, but fall muted into the background noise of life. Others may show it off, Hollywood style.

Do you ever wonder how many of these singular and subjective events occur throughout the whole of humanity without being splashed across CNN? I try not to wrap my mind around it much. It can be maddening.

Then again, maybe Nietzsche was right and there is nothing out there but us.

The most horrifying thought of all...

Sock Monkey approves of the new 2009 Haro Freestyler

Despite all the controversy this bike has generated among BMX enthusiasts, Sock Monkey thinks its BAD ASS.

Curb hop on a BMX bike at age 38 and there will be blood...

Only one thought went through my mind as the aluminum pedal from the Kuwahara slammed into the front of my shin - Am I bleeding on my freakin' jeans?!?

No pain for now, but an interesting reminder of how quickly we bleed when we are older and put ourselves in the path of danger. Shamefully, this was only the result of a 3 inch curb hob on a Kuwahara I had bought my niece last Christmas. I guess I was just having too much fun while bike riding with my little nephew (who holds his own at 6 years old!)

Saturday I drive up to Austin to pick up a 2009 Haro Original Freestyler, which is much-controversied in the various BMX forums on the web. Meh. Whatever. I ride first and obsess later.

5 nuns walk into a fast food restaurant...

So 5 nuns walk into a Wendy's where I'm eating...

No, really. At lunch today, 5 nuns in black winter habits walked into the Wendy's restaurant where I was eating.

I just quietly ate my food and avoided eye contact.

Dead of Winter

Between the crisp blue sky and the silence of a frigid night, I march on.

The other morning, around 2am, I was reminded of why I keep an extra blanket around as the temperatures in the house dropped to about 63 degrees. Doesn't seem too cold, for those reading this, but when you are lying motionless in bed without so much as a sheet and comforter to cover your body, you will end up shivering. Also, I don't run my heater at night. Geographically, this region is considered sub-tropical, so I can't justify wasting electicity to try and keep a home of brick and fiberboard "warm" for a short time. Live here long enough and you will understand. It can be 80 degrees by 4pm the next afternoon. Bleh.

The recent fascination has been thermal underwear, although I must admit some of the stuff being sold in stores may not appeal to the average man. I made the mistake recently of picking up the "good stuff" at a local sporting goods store, paying about $30ish bucks per piece to ensure a nice warm sleep or foray into the woods, or overnight camping or WHATEVER. Turns out the long johns were about as sheer as women's pantyhose. Yeah. Picture that. Hairy guy wearing sheer thermal underwear that you can basically see through. I made sure to close all the blinds in the house after a test run with these things on. Although I must admit - they are warm. Well, coupled with a fleece on the couch. And maybe under blue jeans if I lived in Colorado. Maybe...

Continuing the irony, the last time I was actually outside on a bike was December 24th, when I did a test-run on the Kona in anticipation of riding some pretty rough trail on Christmas Day. Of course, my well-laid plans were upended with Cedar Fever and the horrific 3-week malaise and coughing that ensued. But this was totally unknown to me when I snagged a Pearl Izumi neoprene rider's jacket - for about a hundred bucks - that I planned on wearing while out agressively riding to keep my torso warm. Ha. Turns out I wear this thing to keep me warm inside my house most nights, since I no longer venture outside while there is enough Juniper pollen in the air to choke a horse. Life it strange like that.

Lest we forget how life tends to put the FU in "FUN", I had totally forgotten about my mainstay water supply in the form of a Camelback Rogue out in the garage some 3 weeks ago. As luck would have it, I had a few ml of Gatorade in the thing before I fell irreparably ill, but this did not stop me from taking a few swigs as it hung on a workbench about 12 days ago in said garage. As most folks know, the Camelback reservoir hides inside a thick black nylon bag, which prevents you from seeing the liquid contents of what you are drinking. You know where I am going with this... Turns out there were about 3 black dandelions of bacteria growing within the water bladder in the remaining fluid ounces of Gatorade. They literally swayed left and right as I took the bag out of the backpack and sprayed liquid bleach on the whole repulsive thing as it flowed out in chunks into the kitchen sink. End result - burned a hole in the plastic lining of the Camelback and scorched the remaining unknown culture of bacteria into some kind of green shadow. Haven't taken a drink from the bladder lately, but I sometimes wonder whether those black dandelions were growing in that thing when I sucked down salty Gatorade as I was recovering from Cedar Fever in late December 2008....

Ugh.