Saturday, July 26, 2008

Aw crap - They're a CHRISTIAN BAND?!?





Dammit and double-dammit.

I stumbled across a badass metalcore band this weekend and was utterly amazed at the drummer's skill! Matt Greiner holds his own when it comes to percussion panache, but I was a bit disturbed by some of the rumors I started hearing about 2 hours into their music... That is to say...

HOLY CRAP - THIS IS CHRISTIAN METALCORE!!

NOOO!!!!

I am a bit perturbed about this, being a Recovering Catholic and all... You see, when I was young and growing up in the 1980's, the ONLY local radio station was owned by a Born-Again Christian who outright refused to play the "Devil's Music" - which at the time was about the only thing I wanted to hear (i.e., Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Pink Floyd, etc). I still remember laying awake at night hoping HOPING that I could get a phone call in to the DJ that might just play that one track from Dokken that I wanted to dedicate to some Junior High crush of mine at the time. In fact, I think they actually managed to bend the rules one night and play something for this platonic love of mine in the 8th grade. Of course, they screwed her name all up on the radio, but whatever. I had broken the "barrier" of Christian Censorship and gotten them to play Satan's Music in my tiny little hometown! (ironic that the virtuoso guitarist of Dokken later went on to play Country Music after the eventual fade of 80's Hair Metal...)

So here I was, some 20 years later, listening to a tinny YouTube video of Matt Greiner kinda hoping that this band wasn't Christian and that they would really kick some serious ass. Well, they DO kick ass, but there is a hint of preachery in some of the tracks. Still, the average person won't be able to pick this out considering they are YELLING most of the time. Which brings to mind an interesting concept. IF (and that is a HUGE if...) I were to consider being a missionary or whatever the fuck gospel bible punching callings exist out there, I would prefer to SCREAM THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS INTO YOUR FACE over any other approach. Maybe this is why bands with a religious underpinning in America seem to attract an instant following if they tap into the underlying anger and angst of the next generation of teenagers...

I dunno..

For one thing, I enjoy drinking too much to be Muslim, and I am too damned humble to try and ram Jesus down people's throats. I guess that's why I continue to enjoy the staccato riffs and double-bassy drums of Heavy Metal music. Because at some point in your life, whether you are Born Again Christian or Born AGAINST Christians, you will have to face the truth that your musical interests sing exclusively about:

1) Drug Use
2) Alcohol
3) Sex
4) Money
5) Jesus
or
6) Their Cawks.

I'm somewhere between Cawks and Drug Use. With a little Yelling Jesus thrown in.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Tattoos on women...

(once again, I hate copy/paste in my blog, but this is worth it!)





Tattoos are creative and awesome no doubt.

The big problem that women will face is the daunting reality that once they get a tattoo, they will date themselves forever...

Girls who get tatoos tend to be the same that are in step with pop culture and up on the latest style, unfortunately will be the same girls who get bummed that they have to stick with the trend and style they pick forever! They will face their biggest critic; younger girls! It would be like hanging at the latest club hot spot and try compete with the younger prettier girls, and have a big tattoo across your shoulder that says ” I am 36 years old! “, even if noxema and a gym membership gives you a body of a 25 year old. Imagine if you were a girl who had to wear those bell bottom pants that came back popular in the early nineties….FOREVER. That would be like a jail sentence for the fashion forward.

Same goes for men… do you think that the Tasmanian Devil tattoo or the barbed wire tribal tattoo wrapped around your bicep says…hey look, ” Havasu Spring Break 1993″?

Posted by: Mason | July 21, 2008 at 05:46 PM

Monday, July 14, 2008

Keep me on your No Fly List...



Hello Yusuf!

I have met some interesting folks during my tenure at Rackspace, but Yusuf stands out. A young man born in Saudi Arabia, he is the first Muslim I have run across in my personal life that represents everything I've THOUGHT a Muslim should be - honorable, faithful, and personable. This is in stark contrast to everything the average American has been taught to believe about Muslims - the dark, scary "threat" to their freedoms after 9/11/2001.

Honestly, you guys need to get out more.

I've already known that an overwhelming percentage of the world's population is Muslim - from Asian to Indian to German to American. About the only people threatened by this are the average Christians, who I must say are just about as paranoid as the average American when it comes to understanding World Religion.

I'm sure Yusuf was suprised that I remembered the 5 Pillars of Islam from my research. Or the significance that he was born in Saudi Arabia. But what he did NOT count on is my immutable ability to upset the status quo. That's right - I don't sit well with the "don't rock the boat" crowd. This is why my blog is entitled "Keep me on your No Fly list", because after posting my recent picture, I will probably not get through TSA checklists very easily. No problem. I will deal with it when it comes.

Yusuf helps contribute to a pretty cool "modern" Muslim video-blogging website that has some interesting things to say about life as a Muslim (especially in America!), and while I remain a Recovering-Catholic, I can honestly say I'm one step closer to understanding why Islam is such a convincing religion. I used to joke that it was a "man's religion", considering how it REQUIRES the growth of facial hair in men...

I once again profess that the hardest thing to do in life is remain flexible. Yes. REMAIN FLEXIBLE. Whether that means you are a young Muslim adapting to culture at "The Rack" by eating a tasty hamburger at Chester's Hamburger's or a apparently-white-skinned Mexican seeing faith in action by one of your coworkers, that is something you have to contend with.

Now, if we could just all get along outside this whole "oil" thing...

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Ummah Films

If there was ever a "Man's Religion", it was Islam.

I still remember the 5 Pillars of Islam from a course I took many, many years ago in a junior college. I happened to have run into several Muslims since that time and have never come across anything resembling the negative stereotype portrayed by popular US media. I'm sure I risk some form or "Carnivore" or "Matrix" style meta-searching for saying this, but despite the fanatacism of the average Muslim I've known, not a SINGLE ONE has advocated any violence against any living creature in ANY way.

So recently I discovered Ummah Films.

First off, I am not Muslim. In fact, I am what is humorously known as a "Recovering Catholic." Despite having excelled in my courses in private school, I have always wondered "who was right?" when it came to faith and, more loosely, religion. While I am still leagues away from any formal understanding of some of the world's most popular faiths, I have a more tolerant view of Islam than your average American.

Ummah Films just happened to drop into my lap as part of the diversity I experience at Rackspace every day. I am a firm believer in "keeping an open mind", and while this is an easy phrase to type it is an infinitely impossible mindset to keep. Just try it. Try to overcome your stereotypes when you walk through an urban area packed with homeless people. Or when you see that average teen with bleach-blonde mohawk and

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Let's get Illegal this 4th of July



I have two funny stories about America's Independence Day as seen through the eyes of a Gen X'er:

FIRST:

A random mid-afternoon in the 1980's when I was crouched over a small glass bottle (possibly a Coca Cola?) trying to situate two bottle rockets for synchronous flight as the sun baked onlookers. The atmosphere was triumphant - A new suburb in a small metropolis where the average resident was busy either drinking beer or fussing over a barbeque pit or pawning off fireworks to the "kids". I was old enough to know how dangerous fireworks could be, but toiled busily over what I thought would be an impressive beginning of a fireworks show.

We were all faced North in this small cul-de-sac, all at once waiting for something and for nothing. No one crowded me as I contemplated my little pyrotechnics display.

Suddenly, while trying to light two disjointed bottle rocket fuses, a large hand intruded into my pyromanic fit.

"Hey - You're doing it wrong!"

I tilted my head to see a fully-uniformed San Antonio Police Officer addressing me. Before I could break a panicked sweat, he had manipulated the bottle rockets into one large cluster of twisted fuses and goaded me to, "go ahead - light it!"

It wasn't rocket science to know that a 10-year-old would put a cheap cigarrette lighter to a mass of fuses just to see what happened...

A trailing burst of gunpowder later, we were all "ooohs!" and "aaaahs!" while the policeman winked and nodded at my newfound technique. The rest of the afternoon was an impressive one-up on the local kids, trying to see who could blow their fingers off with a random assortment of fireworks as a varied mix of community professionals gawked on. Yes, there were firefighters present, but only to enjoy the free beer that was making the rounds!

How times have changed. I can still smell the burning cordite and the starch in Officer McFriendly's shirt.

SECOND:

Flash forward to the year 2007 and making a chance stop at one of the still-remaining fireworks stands at the outskirts of town. Not really knowing what to expect in my late 30's, I was surprised to see a Fire Marshal standing at the counter, resplendent in full uniform and radio and incognito pickup truck. BEXAR COUNTY FIRE MARSHAL, in case you didn't see the reflective 3M tape on his jumper.

As luck would have it, this fireworks stand was right next to a small Mexican Restaurant, so being the ever-paranoid White Guy, I quickly veered to the parking lot of El Chapparral to "get a Taco" while Mr. Enforcement was looking busy and agitated at the lack of customers at the stand. In about 5 minutes, I was back at the fireworks stand ordering all sorts of incendiary goodness. Even the employees were breathing a sigh of relief that the wet-sponge on the whole affair was gone for awhile.

Sadly, most of the fireworks I bought that afternoon were duds, but you can bet I'll be back there this Friday just on the whim that my niece or nephew would enjoy one well burned firecracker some 30 years after we didn't have to look over our shoulder before we indulged in a little harmless fun.

Paranoiacs, you may now water your roof.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Yard Sale Nation

***** PERSONAL NOTE: I hate copy/paste of someone else's blog entry, but I have a hard time disagreeing with this recent entry from Jim on the Clusterfuck Nation blog:


--
This isn't so funny anymore. Intimations of a July banking collapse rumbled though the Internet this weekend while mainstream news orgs like The New York Times and CNN pulled their puds over swift boats and Amy Winehouse's performance technique. Something is happening, and you don't know what it is, do you Mr. Jones...? to quote the master.

What's happening is that American society is sliding into a greater depression than the one Grandma lived through. On the technical side, there has been unending controversy as to whether we're gripped by inflation or deflation. It's certainly deceptive. Food and gasoline prices are rising faster than the rivers of Iowa. But the prices of assets, like houses, stocks, jet-skis, GMC Yukons and pre-owned Hummel figurines are cratering as America turns into Yard Sale Nation.

We're a very different country than we were in 1932. In that earlier crisis of capital, few people had any money but our society still possessed fantastic resources. We had plenty of everything that our land could provide: a treasure trove of mineral ores and the equipment to refine it all, a wealth of oil and gas still in the ground, and all the rigs needed to get at it, manpower galore (and of a highly disciplined, regimented kind), with fine-tuned factories waiting for orders. We had a railroad system that was the envy of the world and millions of family farms (even despite the dust bowl) owned by people who retained age-old skills not yet degraded by agribusiness. We had fully-functional cities with operating waterfronts and ten thousand small towns with local economies, local newspapers, and local culture.

We had a crisis of capital in the 1930s for reasons that are still debated today. My own guess is a combination of a bad debt workout that sucked "money" into a black hole (since money is loaned into existence, but vanishes if the loans are not systematically paid back) plus a gross saturation of markets, meaning that every American who had wanted to buy a car or an electric toaster had done so and there was no one left to sell to. (The first round of globalism -- 1870 - 1914 -- had shut down after the fiasco of World War One.)

Our debt problems today are of a magnitude so extreme that astronomers would be hard pressed to calculate them. By any rational measure our society is comprehensively bankrupt. From the federal treasury down to the suburban cul-de-sacs so much loaned money is either not being paid back, or is at risk of never being paid back, that the suckage of presumed wealth has passed through an event horizon out of the known universe into some other realm of space-time, never to be seen again in this realm. This would seem to be the very essence of monetary deflation -- money defaulted out-of-existence.

This condition is partly disguised by both the loss of credibility of US currency and real-world scarcities of oil and food, but the upshot will be something at least twice as bad as the Great Depression of the 1930s: people with no money in a land with no resources (with manpower that has no discipline), hardly any family farms left, cities that are basket-cases of bottomless need, comatose small towns stripped of their assets and social capital, an aviation industry on the verge of death, and a railroad system that is the laughingstock of the world. Not to mention the mind-boggling liabilities of suburbia and the motoring infrastructure that services it.

The banks have been doing their death dance for an entire year now, pretending that their problems are those of mere "liquidity" (i.e. cash-on-hand) rather than insolvency (no cash either on hand or in the vault and nothing else to sell to raise cash except worthless "creative" securities that nobody would ever buy). But the destruction of money (resulting from loans not paid back) is now so intense that the game of pretend has reached its terminal point. The question for the moment is exactly who and what will be crushed as these institutions roll over and die.

Complicating matters is a global oil predicament that is really not hard to understand, but which the organs of news and opinion have obdurately failed to explicate for an anxious public. Call it Peak Oil. There are only a few elements of it you need to know. 1.) that demand has now permanently outstripped supply; 2.) that new discoveries are too meager to offset consumption; 3.) That under under the circumstances, the systems we rely on for daily life are crumbling. I've called this situation The Long Emergency.

Our chances of mitigating this, and of continuing our current way-of-life is about zero. I've tried to promote the idea that rather than waste remaining resources in the futile attempt to sustain the unsustainable (i.e. come up with "solutions" to keep suburbia running), that we should begin immediately making other arrangements for daily life -- mainly by downscaling and re-scaling everything from farming to commerce to the way we inhabit the landscape -- but my suggestions have proven unpopular even among the "environmental" elites, who are too busy being entranced by new-and-groovy ways to keep all the cars running.

So where we are at now is the equivalent of standing in the slop by the ocean shore under a gathering hundred-foot-high wave that is about to come crashing down on our heads. Since I sure don't know everything, I can't say how this will all play out in the months ahead, especially with the presidential election coming at the exact moment that voters will be turning on their furnaces for the cold and dark winter beyond. I would venture to say that so far our society as a whole has done a piss-poor job of comprehending the situation. But there is still the possibility, with four months of politicking left, that the nature of our predicament can be articulated in a way that few can fail to understand, the way Mr, Lincoln articulated the terms of the Civil War on the eve of its fateful outbreak.