Reality came crashing down when I asked a co-worker at lunch about having Memorial Day "off":
"What? Are you kidding? We're a 365/24/7 operation! Unless you ASK for it off, you ain't gettin it!"
Welcome to the Real World (TM).
And on behalf of the Real World, I managed to get popped for speeding this past Sunday morning by the Aggressive Driver program the local PD runs in town. I find this incredibly ironic, considering how many bluehairs I've pissed off in the slow lane for driving too slow. Yes, it's hard to believe, but I upset the 80+ year old crowd by driving too damned slowly in the right lane at random. There's only so much you can do to push a 4000 pound Toyota 4Runner to speed and still maintain 22mpg.
Ridiculous.
In any case, this is the first speeding ticket I've gotten in over 15 YEARS. Yes, that's right. Fifteen. Years. The shame should laugh me out of the building alone, but I have a plan. It goes something like this:
ME: Your honor, I can't afford this ticket, on my record or otherwise.
HONOR: What's the story?
ME: I need to reduce my fine to court costs and maybe some kind of probation if that's possible
HONOR: OK, go see the register over there and she will tell you how much you owe.
Typically, this situation ends up in me paying about 60% of the fine the infraction was dialed in for. Honestly, if I had a lawyer-bulldog on a leash, I'd totally pull that privilege, but this is the plight of the average-Joe here, and you do what it takes to get to the end of the finish line.
Reminds me of a friend who was FTA (Failure to Appear) for many of his tickets once. He finally showed up in court and INSISTED that they jail him because he had no money to pay the fine... This didn't work out well, with the court clerk trying to get the guy to pay up or go home. Buddy insisted on going to jail, but they would NOT have him.
In the end, he paid up.
Don't misinterpret this story. The local law enforcement is more than happy to let you spend 3 days in jail for a traffic fine, but they will do everything in their power to collect your $$$ before that happens. Jail, while always an eye-opener, can be a refreshing slap in the face of cold, cruel reality. Even for a Class C Misdemeanor (which technically isn't a jailable offense in Texas).
Pencils and a notepad for your next 3 dinners, anyone?
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