Dead of Winter

Between the crisp blue sky and the silence of a frigid night, I march on.

The other morning, around 2am, I was reminded of why I keep an extra blanket around as the temperatures in the house dropped to about 63 degrees. Doesn't seem too cold, for those reading this, but when you are lying motionless in bed without so much as a sheet and comforter to cover your body, you will end up shivering. Also, I don't run my heater at night. Geographically, this region is considered sub-tropical, so I can't justify wasting electicity to try and keep a home of brick and fiberboard "warm" for a short time. Live here long enough and you will understand. It can be 80 degrees by 4pm the next afternoon. Bleh.

The recent fascination has been thermal underwear, although I must admit some of the stuff being sold in stores may not appeal to the average man. I made the mistake recently of picking up the "good stuff" at a local sporting goods store, paying about $30ish bucks per piece to ensure a nice warm sleep or foray into the woods, or overnight camping or WHATEVER. Turns out the long johns were about as sheer as women's pantyhose. Yeah. Picture that. Hairy guy wearing sheer thermal underwear that you can basically see through. I made sure to close all the blinds in the house after a test run with these things on. Although I must admit - they are warm. Well, coupled with a fleece on the couch. And maybe under blue jeans if I lived in Colorado. Maybe...

Continuing the irony, the last time I was actually outside on a bike was December 24th, when I did a test-run on the Kona in anticipation of riding some pretty rough trail on Christmas Day. Of course, my well-laid plans were upended with Cedar Fever and the horrific 3-week malaise and coughing that ensued. But this was totally unknown to me when I snagged a Pearl Izumi neoprene rider's jacket - for about a hundred bucks - that I planned on wearing while out agressively riding to keep my torso warm. Ha. Turns out I wear this thing to keep me warm inside my house most nights, since I no longer venture outside while there is enough Juniper pollen in the air to choke a horse. Life it strange like that.

Lest we forget how life tends to put the FU in "FUN", I had totally forgotten about my mainstay water supply in the form of a Camelback Rogue out in the garage some 3 weeks ago. As luck would have it, I had a few ml of Gatorade in the thing before I fell irreparably ill, but this did not stop me from taking a few swigs as it hung on a workbench about 12 days ago in said garage. As most folks know, the Camelback reservoir hides inside a thick black nylon bag, which prevents you from seeing the liquid contents of what you are drinking. You know where I am going with this... Turns out there were about 3 black dandelions of bacteria growing within the water bladder in the remaining fluid ounces of Gatorade. They literally swayed left and right as I took the bag out of the backpack and sprayed liquid bleach on the whole repulsive thing as it flowed out in chunks into the kitchen sink. End result - burned a hole in the plastic lining of the Camelback and scorched the remaining unknown culture of bacteria into some kind of green shadow. Haven't taken a drink from the bladder lately, but I sometimes wonder whether those black dandelions were growing in that thing when I sucked down salty Gatorade as I was recovering from Cedar Fever in late December 2008....

Ugh.