Aw crap - They're a CHRISTIAN BAND?!?

Dammit and double-dammit.

I stumbled across a badass metalcore band this weekend and was utterly amazed at the drummer's skill! Matt Greiner holds his own when it comes to percussion panache, but I was a bit disturbed by some of the rumors I started hearing about 2 hours into their music... That is to say...

HOLY CRAP - THIS IS CHRISTIAN METALCORE!!

NOOO!!!!

I am a bit perturbed about this, being a Recovering Catholic and all... You see, when I was young and growing up in the 1980's, the ONLY local radio station was owned by a Born-Again Christian who outright refused to play the "Devil's Music" - which at the time was about the only thing I wanted to hear (i.e., Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Iron Maiden, Pink Floyd, etc). I still remember laying awake at night hoping HOPING that I could get a phone call in to the DJ that might just play that one track from Dokken that I wanted to dedicate to some Junior High crush of mine at the time. In fact, I think they actually managed to bend the rules one night and play something for this platonic love of mine in the 8th grade. Of course, they screwed her name all up on the radio, but whatever. I had broken the "barrier" of Christian Censorship and gotten them to play Satan's Music in my tiny little hometown! (ironic that the virtuoso guitarist of Dokken later went on to play Country Music after the eventual fade of 80's Hair Metal...)

So here I was, some 20 years later, listening to a tinny YouTube video of Matt Greiner kinda hoping that this band wasn't Christian and that they would really kick some serious ass. Well, they DO kick ass, but there is a hint of preachery in some of the tracks. Still, the average person won't be able to pick this out considering they are YELLING most of the time. Which brings to mind an interesting concept. IF (and that is a HUGE if...) I were to consider being a missionary or whatever the fuck gospel bible punching callings exist out there, I would prefer to SCREAM THE NAME OF THE LORD JESUS INTO YOUR FACE over any other approach. Maybe this is why bands with a religious underpinning in America seem to attract an instant following if they tap into the underlying anger and angst of the next generation of teenagers...

I dunno..

For one thing, I enjoy drinking too much to be Muslim, and I am too damned humble to try and ram Jesus down people's throats. I guess that's why I continue to enjoy the staccato riffs and double-bassy drums of Heavy Metal music. Because at some point in your life, whether you are Born Again Christian or Born AGAINST Christians, you will have to face the truth that your musical interests sing exclusively about:

1) Drug Use
2) Alcohol
3) Sex
4) Money
5) Jesus
or
6) Their Cawks.

I'm somewhere between Cawks and Drug Use. With a little Yelling Jesus thrown in.